Failing

I have talked about being a mother and how I suck at that. Now let's talk about how much I suck at being a wife. Lately I just feel like I am failing. Completely and utterly failing.
I can't seem to get anything done. The house is a mess, the laundry is piling up, I spend my day taking care of my son as much as I can because I feel like he needs me more than my husband. I find myself telling him to pick up dinner because I just don't have time and I know he loves a home cooked meal. I have been falling asleep earlier than usual and most of the time with my kid in the bed while he sleeps on the couch. I am failing at being a wife.

Being at everyones beck and call all the time is consuming and difficult. You want to make everyone happy but someone always gets left out, including yourself. I haven't had my hair done. My car needs an oil change and to be washed. I haven't done any Christmas shopping and I've been living in the same sweats for the past two weeks. What is wrong with me? I can't seem to get it together. I can't even sit and watch a movie with my husband, or even talk over a cup of coffee. He feels bad and completely unloved or wanted.

I'm lost, losing hope and wanting someone else to tell me they are going through or have gone through the same thing because I don't know how much longer any one can take it.

You Irk Me

I am obviously not good at drawing, and I have never claimed to be. But there is this woman at work that I absolutely despise and I swear that is what her hair looks like. And her eyebrows. She actually looks just like that awful stick figure I drew. I know you have the same person you work with that you physically can not stand to look at or be in the same room with.

It's not that I really hate this person. I mean, if she was stranded on the side of the highway I might stop to help, maybe. I mean it would take every ounce of me to actually pull my car over, put it in park and get out to ask if she needed help...when really I would want to pull over, put my car in reverse and ram the shit out of her vehicle. But anyways...I would help, really I would.

It's the fact that this person, she just irks me in so many ways. Her hair is awful, her clothes are awful, and her kiss ass attitude makes me want to vomit in my coffee daily. So I avoid, I avoid like she has a contagious disease all over her body and getting within five feet of her I would contract it. I pretend we are in The Walking Dead and I must do everything possible to keep from contracting this illness that will bring me death and possibly make me eat other people. I use copy machines on the other side of the office, wait till she is done in the bathroom to go, and legit decline meetings if she will be present. And the funny part of all of this? She either knows and continues to try to be around me, or she is so fucking dumb she has no idea I dislike her so badly. Well bitch, you irk me and the only way for others to know is to post this awful picture of you and your yellow hair.

Get The Job

I recently sat down with a friend who has worked in Human Resources since she was in college. It's her calling, she's really good at it and I hate her for it. She can walk into a room and talk to anyone, about anything. She is not shy, she asks the right questions at the right times and she knows when you are bullshitting. I decided to ask her (without giving her name) some tips so that you land that job.

1. Be professional. Your clothes, your hair, your resume, your handbag, your everything! Don't show up to an interview for a corporate job dressed the same as you would to interview at a bar. It's common sense to most, but not to all. 

2. Don't wear blue nail polish, or black, just don't.

3. Arrive on time, or early! If you are late I am moving on to the next candidate. 

4. No gum, do not be chewing gum!

5. Make sure you know what the company does. What they stand for, what they offer, even in the cliffs notes version, do your research.

6. Don't lie about what you've done in previous jobs. I will ask you questions and I will know by your response or the look on your face that you do not have that skill or ability. 

7. I don't want to see your boobs or your tattoos, cover that shit up. 

8. Make sure you can walk in your heels. 

9. Dudes, shave that damn beard. I realize you think it's in style, but really it's gross and you might be carrying around a small dog in there, I have no clue, but I don't want to see it. 

10. Wear deodorant, a little perfume goes a long way. 

Leopard

According to all the Fashion Bloggers I follow, leopard is in this season. I'm sorry, when did it go out? I have been wearing this shit for years and I love it, but please don't act like it is a new thing!
I have put some of my favorites below. I can't afford these items but maybe one of you can.

The Tunic

I am a huge fan of the tunic top. I wear these all week and especially on casual Fridays. Reason? Well they cover up that little bit of bloat you get from being a woman during certain times of the month, but also when I have had to much wine and I feel like shit, it covers that up too....well not my face, but then my clothes aren't tight and annoying which makes my hangover that much worse!